


The Way We Touched, Wish I Didn't Like It So Much

by ghoulszler



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Missing Scene, Post-Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Slow Burn, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, infinity war?? idk her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-06-28 19:38:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15713748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghoulszler/pseuds/ghoulszler
Summary: The first time she let her guard down around him, she ended up putting a knife to his throat.---Gamora wants to be more open, but that means coming to terms with her feelings towards Peter.





	1. Chapter 1

Being raised in a hostile environment, where every second her life was at risk, Gamora quickly learned to never let her guard down. So-called siblings who she naively thought to be allies would attempt to attack her in her sleep, so she stopped sleeping. But Gamora was stronger, more disciplined, and faster; she survived, they did not. 

It wasn’t until the Guardians became a part of her life and, more importantly, became her family, that she realised she could relax. That opening up wasn’t a sign of weakness, leaving her vulnerable to an attack, and not everyone wanted to use that against her. Especially not Peter.

The first time she let her guard down around him, she ended up putting a knife to his throat. Gamora had assumed she knew everything about Peter after a matter of days and for the most part, she was right. He was a thief, a scoundrel on the run from the Nova Corps, who tried to kiss her at the first opportunity. He’d almost succeeded. And, much to her chagrin, she’d almost let him.

When they finally had chance to rest after the fight on Xandar, Gamora often found herself thinking back on that moment with Peter; maybe a little too often. Her whole body had tensed as he reached to slip the headphones over her ears, her defences automatically kicking in - willingly allowing someone so close felt wrong and every instinct told her to draw her sword, but she’d resisted. Whether she was too caught up in the melody of the song to notice, she couldn’t say, but she allowed Peter to take her hand – his touch warm and gentle. He somehow became close enough that she could feel the heat from his body, see the way the light from the streets below cast soft shadows across his face and how she momentarily stopped breathing as he moved in closer. 

A split second later, she pulled her knife. 

 

\----------

 

As the Guardians grew closer, Gamora slowly allowed the others to see beneath the hardened warrior front she used to keep herself safe, to show them she could open up and have fun. Even though she believed her trying to unwind came off as clumsy and awkward at times, Peter never made fun of her and would always call her “adorable” or “cute” – something that would make the heat in her cheeks rise, no matter how much she resisted. 

One particular night she’d wandered to the bridge of the Milano to find Peter, seemingly sharing her inability to sleep, lounging in the pilot’s chair with his Walkman in hand and headphones around his neck. Gamora could hear the music playing softly as she approached. Peter did a double take as he realised she was there, hastily taking his feet off the console as if she was going to scold him.

“H-hey! I didn’t realise you were still awake,” Peter said, clearing his throat a little and sitting up in the chair. 

“Sleep seems a long way off for me… and you, too, by the looks of it,” Gamora sighed as she sat in the chair beside him. He’d swapped his usual tight trousers for a looser, comfier pair. Not that she paid attention to the tightness of Peter’s clothing… not at all.

Peter ran a hand through his already messy hair, “Yeah, I haven’t been able to sleep much lately… got a lot on my mind.”

“Anything you wish to discuss?”

“Nah, it’s… it’s nothing. I just get like this sometimes,” he took the headphones from around his neck, setting them and the Walkman on the console. Clearly there was more going on than he wanted to admit, judging by the shadows under his eyes, but Gamora didn’t press him.

“So what about you? How come you’ve joined the can’t-sleep-at-a-normal-time-like-everyone-else club?”

Gamora blinked and shook her head slightly; she still wasn’t used to Peter’s ridiculous sayings but couldn’t seem to muster the energy to ask him what he meant. “I’ve been a little restless lately, but I doubt it’s cause for concern.”

“Yeah, there’s been a lot of crazy stuff going on…” he drummed his fingers against his knees for a few moments, processing what she’d just said. “Oh! Y’know what might help? Dancing!”

“What? Peter, no, I -”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun! And it’ll help you work off some of that restless energy!” Peter leapt excitedly out of his chair, grabbing his Walkman and removing the cassette to place it in the stereo built in to the wall.

Gamora sighed, exasperated at how he could go from zero to a hundred in a split second. She was about to protest again, but he was already by her side holding out a hand, encouraging her to join him. She looked at his open palm then upward to his face, when her gaze met his, her breath caught in her throat. Peter’s expression was gentle and inviting, the lights from the Milano seemingly making his skin glow and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. She quickly lowered her gaze, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks as she carefully reached out, taking his hand.

“Awesome!” Peter cheered enthusiastically, gently leading Gamora out of the chair to stand in the limited space on the deck. “Now we’ll keep it simple to start, so you wanna put one hand here…” he placed one her hand on his shoulder, “and I’m just gonna… put mine, uh, here.” 

His hand hovered around her waist; Gamora could sense the trepidation in him as she’d previously made it clear she didn’t like to be touched, not without express permission at least. But she wanted to be more open, to take down this wall she’d built up after years of torment and this seemed like as good a place as any to start. She glanced up to meet Peter’s gaze and nodded, his hand finally resting against her a moment later. 

“Okay, so, I’m just gonna hold your other hand like this… then you’re gonna wanna move your feet side to side, like this… and now we sway!”

They moved slowly, slightly out of sync with each other, and the music, at first until Gamora took a breath and exhaled slowly, trying to relax.

“This is quite different to the dancing you did on Xandar.” 

“Yeah, that was the more advanced stuff. I’ll be able to teach you that later, _then_ you’ll be a force to be reckoned with,” Peter winked, a smirk playing on his lips, and Gamora ducked her head, slightly turning away to hide her laughter and the blush creeping back into her cheeks. 

They continued to sway, as Peter called it, to the gentle rhythm of the song playing quietly through the speakers. She couldn’t be sure how much time had passed - she was thinking about so many things like moving in time to the music, the way Peter’s hand gently wrapped around hers, the weight of his palm on her waist and how the silence between them was oddly comforting.

“How about we try a spin?” Peter asked softly.

Gamora’s chest tightened, unsure of where this was headed. “A what?”

“A spin! It’s real simple, I’m gonna slowly turn you…” he raised their arms in the air and guided her hand away from his shoulder to allow her to turn freely. “Then you’re gonna duck under my arm… and then we step away like this!” Peter took small steps back so he could extend his arm, while Gamora stood awkwardly, trying to mirror his movements the best she could in the small space. 

“Yeah, just like that! You got it!”

Gamora rolled her eyes and mumbled, “You’re just saying that.” 

Peter shook his head a little too forcefully, “Nuh-uh, you’re acing my beginners class right now.”

“I didn’t realised I’d be getting marked on my dancing abilities.”

“Well, my grading system is unconventional and only goes on how awesome and cool you are when you’re dancing, and you’re always awesome Gamora.” 

She smiled bashfully, hearing anyone talk about her in a way that didn’t involve the words ‘murderer’ or ‘weapon’ was still an entirely new experience for Gamora; one that she doubted she’d ever get used to. 

“So what’s next?” she asked.

“Okay, uh… you wanna spin back, but not go under my arm this time,” Peter instructed, sounding like he was making all of this up on the spot, which wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for him. 

Gamora obliged as best she could, stepping towards Peter as he guided her back with their still connected hands even as she stumbled ever-so slightly at the last moment. So much for looking awesome. But Peter didn’t make a fuss; he merely smiled in the most charming way and complimented her once more.

“See? That was awesome!”

She frowned, “I highly doubt tripping over my own feet counts as awesome.”

Peter shrugged and gently placed his hand back on her waist, “Nah, don’t worry about it. You’ll get better the more we practise.”

“Practise?” Gamora asked, her initial shock sounding a little more annoyed than intended. 

“Well, yeah why not? Unless you’re not comfortable, then in that case I totally get it, it’s fine, I just thought it’d be fun…” Peter babbled quickly, something he often did whenever he was nervous or, god forbid, hurt. 

Gamora cursed herself for being so defensive so quickly. It wasn’t that she felt uncomfortable around Peter, quite the opposite. What _was_ concerning, however, was the fact that she found it so easy to relax around him. After being trained to be an assassin from such a young age, Gamora was always sceptical and distrustful of people – regardless of how long she’d known them. It was indoctrinated into her that no one could be trusted, that even those closest to you would eventually try to kill you, unless you stopped them first. 

But being with Peter was different. Even during their first encounter, Gamora was sure he had no intentions of killing her – he merely wanted to keep the orb for himself – though she hated to admit she couldn’t say the same. And though she knew how resilient and fearless he could be, given the right circumstances, she’d also come to learn just how kind, generous and caring he could be underneath all that.

“It’s not that, I’m just… surprised,” Gamora replied, her tone quiet and uncertain. 

“Why surprised?” 

She shrugged, “I wouldn’t consider myself the most fun to be around. Growing up like I did…” Gamora shook her head; she couldn’t bring herself to go down that path, not right now.

Peter had begun to guide her so they swayed to the slow rhythm once again; his arm around her waist pulling her ever so slightly closer as he gently squeezed her hand in reassurance. 

“Well, I happen to think you’re tonnes of fun – just for the record.” 

She rolled her eyes, certain he was just saying that to make her feel better, he probably said similar things to countless women. 

“And I know what you’re thinking – ’Peter, I bet you say that to all the girls!’” he continued in a slight mocking tone and making his voice higher pitched in an attempt to make her laugh. 

It worked. Gamora ducked her head again, trying to hide her laughter and embarrassment. 

“You’re ridiculous Peter.”

“Yup!” he exclaimed happily, a huge grin spreading across his face. Gamora couldn’t help but smile back. He was utterly charming and she could tell he was well aware of that fact too. 

They were still swaying, moving in small circles and even after the song had changed to something more upbeat, they didn’t alter from their original pace. With her hand still rested carefully on Peter’s shoulder, his hand around her waist holding her steady and their bodies close, she was all too aware of how familiar this was. 

Gamora didn’t have a knife this time; she was suddenly terrified of not being able to stop Peter if he tried to kiss her again – god knows this sure seemed like the perfect opportunity. What scared her more, though, was that she didn’t think she’d want to try and stop him.

Shaken by this unexpected realisation, Gamora broke away, dropping his hand as if his skin was burning her and averting her gaze to the floor, hoping to avoid seeing the hurt and confused expression that was undoubtedly spread across Peter’s face.

“Thank you for the dance lesson, Peter, but it’s late now. I should probably try getting some sleep,” she said matter-of-factly. 

She took a deliberate step back and quickly turned on her heel to head back to her sleeping area, not wanting to wait around to hear Peter’s confused response, or see the hurt expression which she was sure she caught the smallest glimpse of as she left.

When Gamora finally lay down, her heart was still pounding in her chest, the sound of blood pumping that echoed in her ears making her feel lightheaded. She was utterly overwhelmed; even letting her guard down the smallest amount had given way to an onslaught of emotions she had never expected to deal with. All this sudden uncertainty and potential between her and Peter was almost too much to bear. 

One thing she was certain of now, however, was that sleep would definitely not be coming tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not sure how many chapters this fic will have, but there's a couple more moments/situations i wanna write about, so who knows!
> 
> fic title from So Emotional by Whitney Houston  
> (this is totally a Starmora song, you can't change my mind)
> 
> \--
> 
> find me on [tumblr](http://flagsmoone.tumblr.com) and [twitter](http://twitter.com/ghoulszler)


	2. Chapter 2

In the months that followed, Gamora deliberately avoided as much physical contact with Peter as she could – something that proved difficult given the cramped living space of the Milano. Luckily, the Guardians were in high demand after saving Xandar and, for the most part, she was able to occupy her time with organising various jobs and collecting their payment. 

These relatively straightforward, logical tasks allowed her to focus all her efforts onto helping others and the more time Gamora spent doing that, the less time she had to try and unravel the mess of feelings she was developing for Peter. At least, that’s what she tried to tell herself. 

She’d begun to lose count of how many nights she lay awake, staring unblinking into the quiet gloom of the ship, mind racing, recounting the events of that particular day and desperately clinging on to any brief interaction she’d had with Peter. Gamora hated herself. Hated that she’d started acting like the exact starry-eyed waif she’d _insisted_ she wasn’t. But, somehow, she couldn’t help herself. 

It was all his fault, really. Peter was the one who would shamelessly flirt with other women, making an unfamiliar pang of jealousy bubble in Gamora’s stomach – something she’d be forced to deny feeling at all when he tried to apologise, insisting his flirting was “part of the job.” Peter was the one who kept asking her to dance and even when she politely declined, he would always answer with the same cheery, “That’s cool! The offer’s always there, whenever you feel like it!” 

Gamora could tell he was trying to appear nonchalant, but she always noticed the defeated hunch of his shoulders as he turned away which filled her with an enormous sense of guilt. She knew Peter was trying to be nice, that was just his nature, and she was the one shutting him out at every opportunity. And for what, fear that he might get too close? That he could see the darkest parts of her and still be interested in her romantically? 

If she was being truly honest, the very idea that someone could possibly see her as a potential _anything_ terrified Gamora to her core. 

\-------------------

The only time Gamora didn’t shy away from physical contact with Peter was out in the field, more often out of necessity than choice. For the most part, their jobs went relatively smoothly – collecting a debt here, taking down a small-time crime boss there. Occasionally, the Guardians would assist the Ravagers on heists, per Yondu’s request, to ensure a particular shipment of weapons wouldn’t “fall into the wrong hands.” She couldn’t be certain how honest their intentions were but, knowing Rocket’s love for thievery, she was reluctantly happy to oblige.

She could remember the first time she broke her self-imposed ‘no contact’ rule. Three months later, the Guardians were infiltrating a hidden facility on Alpha Centauri and Gamora seemed more on edge than usual. Groot was barely out of his pot and Rocket had been tasked with minding him – there was no way they could leave him behind – but the thought of the tiny flora colossus being in potential danger worried her to no end.

They needed to enter the facility undetected, which meant Rocket was able to gleefully put his hacking abilities to good use, while Drax provided him and Groot with much-needed back up. This left Peter and Gamora with the task of navigating their way through the facility to find the all-important cargo.

Rocket had found his way into the control room; Drax easily knocked out the handful of guards before they had chance to alert anyone else, which allowed Rocket free access to the security holos and building schematics he needed to guide Gamora and Peter to their destination. 

“Okay, so according to this map here, the cargo is two floors above. Take a right at the end of the hallway and go up the stairs,” Rocket instructed them via com-link. 

“Shouldn’t there be some guards around here?” Peter asked, hand hovering over his blaster in anticipation. 

“You really think I’d lead you right into a nest of trigger happy morons who’d probably blast you to pieces the second they get a look at that ugly mask a’ yours?” 

“Hey! You only _wish_ you had a mask half as cool as this.”

Rocket groaned, “Just take the stairs you frickin’ idiot.”

Gamora simply rolled her eyes as they pressed forward, she was so used to Peter and Rocket’s bickering by now that she knew to let them tire themselves out, only intervening when things became particularly heated. 

It didn’t take long to reach their destination. Most of the facility looked exactly the same; long corridors with low ceilings, a network of exposed pipes and wiring running overheard while metal doors signalled the entrance to rooms that Gamora had no desire to investigate. They took a left turn and suddenly, Peter stopped dead in his tracks. 

A number of stacked crates blocked their path, but also provided some cover. Peter ducked slightly, careful not to give away their position, but his whole body had tensed suddenly. Even in the low light, she could tell his face had turned ashen. 

“Those sons of bitches…” he muttered.

Beyond the crates, Gamora could see what appeared to be an observation room of some sort. Glass panelling covered the outside of the room, while a heavy door to the right signalled the only way in or out. She then registered what Peter was looking at: a row of cells lined the back wall of the darkened room, cells so small that there was barely enough room for the occupants - the **children** \- to stand. 

The guard patrolling the room pressed a finger to his ear, speaking into his com and, thanks to Rocket’s hacking abilities, they were able to hear every word. 

“The assets are ready to be transferred. Waiting on your signal.”

Gamora’s stomach dropped. All they’d been told about this job was that they needed to prevent some valuable cargo from getting into the wrong hands - she had no idea the cargo in question was children. 

Peter gripped his blaster, body tight. “Assets? That son of a bitch -” 

He moved to step out from their covered position but Gamora instinctively grabbed the collar of his jacket, spinning him around and pushing him somewhat forcefully back against the wall beyond the crates. 

“What the _hell_ are you doing?!” Gamora hissed, voice low and threatening.

There was a fury burning in Peter’s eyes as he spoke, “you heard him! They’re gonna ship them off to god-knows where and they’ll no doubt be sold to the highest bidder to do all kinds of stuff I don’t wanna even think about! They’re just kids, Gamora!”

“I know, but you have got to calm down!”

Peter shook his head, not listening to a word she said, “I’ll kill that bastard and every one of his friends myself. Let me go!”

“Peter, no!”

Gamora grabbed him by the collar again as he tried to, unsuccessfully, push past her. This time she trapped him between her body and the wall, hand pressed against his chest, holding him in place. She could feel him struggling under her touch, but she was unrelenting and Peter knew it.

“Listen to me, if you go barging in there he’ll alert all the other guards in a second and we won’t stand a chance at helping those children!”

She could feel his heart beating rapidly against her hand as he took several long, deep breaths in an attempt to steady himself. His brow was furrowed in anger as Gamora glanced to the blaster in his hand, knuckles white from gripping it so tight as his finger twitched over the trigger. Peter wasn’t about to let this go, neither was she, but she desperately needed him to calm down. 

Acting on pure instinct, Gamora brought her free hand to rest gently on Peter’s face. 

“Peter, listen…” her voice just above a whisper. “I promise you we’ll get those children out of there, but you have to stay calm.” 

“Gamora, you don’t understand - ”

“Yes I do,” she stated firmly, interrupting his protest. “But now’s not the time to discuss it. We have to stick to the plan and not do anything reckless, okay?” 

Peter finally seemed to register what was happening, her hand on his cheek and the other still holding steady against his chest. She searched his face and quietly exhaled in relief as his face softened, relaxing slightly even though the anger still flashed behind his eyes. 

“Promise me,” Gamora’s voice somehow seemed foreign, more vulnerable, as the words left her lips. 

Peter swallowed, nodding as he answered.

“I promise.”

The tension in her body subsided, but only for a brief moment. Her fingers brushed lightly against Peter’s cheek as she removed her hand, reaching to her ear to activate her com. 

“How are we looking Rocket?” 

“Turns out these idiots ain’t as dumb as they look. They got some real high grade tech in here,” came Rocket’s reply through a crackle of static. 

Gamora stepped away from Peter, finally removing her other hand once she was sure he wasn’t going to charge off, blasting everything in sight. 

“We need to hurry,” she said firmly. 

“Yeah, yeah just gimme a sec,” Rocket mumbled. 

Gamora crouched into cover behind the crates, glancing to her left to check that Peter had followed her lead. He met her gaze and, instead of looking away like she would on the other occasions Peter caught her staring, she gave a gentle nod of reassurance. Peter’s mouth twitched in a slight smile before he nodded in response, signalling that they were in this together. He reached behind his ear, activating the mask that shrouded his face while Gamora unsheathed her sword.

Rocket’s voice came through once more, “alright, on my signal…”

\----------------

Even after the traffickers had been apprehended and the children taken into the Nova Corps care, Gamora was still left feeling shaken. 

The Milano was docked for refuelling; Rocket, Drax and Groot had gone planetside to spend their hard-earned credits – in a bar, no doubt – while Peter and Gamora stayed aboard the ship. She knew they should discuss what they saw earlier, but she felt uneasy about bringing it up, afraid it would upset Peter further and that was the last thing she wanted. 

Deciding things would only be worse the longer she waited, she searched the ship. Peter could almost always be found in the pilot’s chair, even when they weren’t flying through space, but when she approached this time, the chair was empty. 

Venturing down to the cargo bay, she almost missed the pair of feet sticking out from behind a stack of boxes upon first glance, until she heard the unmistakable sounds of crying.

“Peter?” she asked, her voice tender.

She heard him shuffling around, startled, and clearing his throat in an attempt to regain some composure. Carefully, she stepped closer, past the boxes to see Peter slumped against the wall, eyes red and shining with tears. Her heart sank. 

“Oh, h-hey. I didn’t know you were still here,” he tried to sound casual, but the wavering in his voice suggested he was anything but. 

“Do you mind if I sit?”

Peter vaguely gestured to the empty space beside him, turning his head away in an attempt to hide his face as Gamora sank to the floor. She folded her hands in her lap, fidgeting awkwardly with the silver rings on her fingers, unsure about how to approach the subject. 

In her peripheral, she could see Peter swiping hastily at his eyes with his hand in an effort to quell the tears but his breath was still uneven, catching in his throat every so often. Gamora kept her gaze cast downward, focused on her hands, allowing Peter time to collect himself. 

After a few moments, she broke the silence. 

“I suppose it’s silly of me to ask how you’re feeling… but I’m here for you, whenever you want to talk.”

Peter turned to her and she met his gaze, her stomach flipped and a wave of sadness overcame her as she saw his face – his eyes bloodshot and forehead creased in sorrow. 

“Yeah, I know… and t-thanks, seriously, I just thought I’d try crying it all out first instead,” he replied, voice thick and slightly hoarse. 

Gamora knew trying to make light of things was a defence mechanism for Peter, a way for him to cope with all of the terrible things he’d been through. But, for some reason, today was just too much. 

“If I’d known they were smuggling children I…” Gamora shook her head lightly; she blamed herself for not gathering more intel, she’d been distracted lately causing things she was usually so conscious about to slip her mind. 

“It’s not your fault,” Peter said, tears ceasing for a moment. “I’m sorry for freaking out earlier, I just…” he trailed off, running a hand through his hair and sighing in frustration. “The whole thing’s so messed up, y’know? Those poor kids, that could’ve - ”

He stopped abruptly and Gamora saw the tremble in his bottom lip, his fragile composure threatening to fall apart any second. Without worrying if she was crossing the line, she placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder, rubbing small circles with her thumb, in the hope of offering some small amount of comfort. 

“That could’ve been me, Gamora.”

Her throat tightened and her vision clouded, the familiar prickle of tears building in her eyes. She so desperately wanted to hold him, to wrap her arms around him and keep him close until all the pain and sadness disappeared, but she was still uncertain of so many things. Gamora cursed herself for being so selfish at a time like this.

“I know,” she replied softly, her voice threatening to break. “It could have been me, too... in another lifetime.”

“Guess we have more in common than you thought,” Peter said, trying to lighten the mood once again. 

Gamora let out a short, humourless laugh to ease the tension, unable to stop the small smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth as she looked at Peter. He was right, though. Their stories shared undeniable similarities – being taken from their home worlds at a young age, losing their parents and being raised in a violent and unforgiving environment. Nevertheless, she believed that Yondu truly cared about Peter even if he had a strange way of showing it – she couldn’t say the same for herself.

“You know those children will be okay, right?” Gamora gently squeezed Peter’s shoulder in reassurance. “Nova will help find their families, or they’ll find new families to take care of them. You don’t have to worry about that.” 

She knew he’d worry regardless of her words; deep down, Peter cared more about the wellbeing of others than himself sometimes, but she greatly admired that about him. 

“Yeah, I know,” he replied, rubbing at his eyes with the back of his hand. “It just sucks, y’know? I thought I was over all that stuff but…”

“It’s okay if you’re not. I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

Peter smiled, releasing some of the tension in his face as he nodded.

“Thanks, Gamora. Seriously, that… that means a lot.”

She smiled back, not even caring about the flush she felt in her cheeks as she gave his shoulder one last squeeze before removing her hand. It was usually at this point where Gamora would make herself scarce, afraid of being open around Peter for an extended amount of time, but today, she felt no desire to move. Maybe it was because he was already in such a vulnerable state, or maybe it was something else altogether. 

Gamora fidgeted with her rings again, wondering if it would be better or worse to acknowledge the fact that she hadn’t run away yet. But, like always, Peter seemed to know what she was thinking and spoke first. 

“Are you sticking around for a while?” he asked, voice gentle. 

She swallowed nervously before answering. “I think so. Being alone doesn’t sound like the most appealing thing right now.”

Peter gave a small laugh and nodded, “Yeah, gotta agree with you on that one… Do you mind if I use you as a pillow then?”

Gamora blinked in confusion, “What?”

“Your shoulder. Can I rest my head there for a lil’ bit? Like you’re the pillow?” Peter always explained his odd turns of phase in such a strange and endearing way that Gamora couldn’t refuse. 

“I’d be happy to be your pillow,” she replied, unable to hide the smirk of laughter on her lips.

Peter grinned, despite the sadness still visible in his eyes, inching closer and resting his head gently on her shoulder. Gamora tensed up at first, this was the closest they’d physically been in months, but she told herself to relax, to breathe. 

The tension and worry soon melted away as quickly as it had arrived, leaving Gamora at ease despite the lingering doubt that pulled at the back of her mind. It was determined to get her to second-guess herself and the situation, but as she glanced at Peter’s face, the doubt vanished. 

His eyes were closed, his expression almost completely serene except for the small crease on his brow. Gamora had seen Peter so many times, but she had never truly looked this close. From this distance she could see the fine lines around the corners of his eyes, the way his eyelashes cast soft shadows on his skin and the slight patch of redness along his jaw where he’d caught himself while shaving. 

She then became aware of Peter’s hand and the way it brushed lightly against hers. After a few moments of weighing her options, she decided the risk was worth it as she slowly moved her hand and carefully linked Peter’s fingers with her own. Her heart raced as she waited for something bad to happen – for Peter to pull away or freak out. But he stayed perfectly still, until he gently squeezed Gamora’s hand, a gesture so small that if not for her enhancements, she would have missed completely.

Gamora quietly released a breath she didn’t realise she was holding and closed her eyes, resting her head back against the cargo bay wall. The stress and pain of the day’s events slowly began to melt away as she focused solely on the gentle rhythm of Peter’s breathing and the warmth of his hand intertwined with hers. There was no panic or fear in her now, despite the closeness of their bodies. 

This time, Gamora knew she was exactly where she needed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not that familiar with the Marvel universe besides what's in the films, so I hope names/locations etc. make sense in relation to the Guardians
> 
> Thank you for reading! Any feedback is appreciated :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the updated tags! There's nothing really explicit, but if there's anything else I should tag or if I should change the fic age rating, please let me know!

“You’ve got to focus.”

“I _am_ focused.”

“No you’re not, I can tell by your stance. And your breathing’s uneven.”

“That’s because you just… kicked my… you do know you’re like, insanely fast, right? It’s almost impossible to keep up with you.”

“Which is why you need to _focus_.”

Peter groaned, throwing his head back, knees sagging as his arms hung at his sides. After a few seconds, he straightened up and exhaled, shaking his arms as if resetting his body. 

“Okay, okay…” he said, rolling his neck twice before raising his fists.

“Now remember, it’s not about winning.”

“Are you sure? ‘Cause I really feel like I got you this time.”

Gamora rolled her eyes; “you’ve been saying that for the past hour and look what’s happened. There’s no shame if you want to take a break.”

“Nah, c’mon! I’m ready!” Peter replied, dancing on the balls of his feet, still seemingly in high sprits despite the sheen of sweat on his forehead.

Naturally, Gamora wasn’t even close to breaking a sweat yet, but she couldn’t help but smile at Peter’s enthusiasm – even though they both knew he’d only wanted to spar with her after she had politely declined the offer of another dance lesson.

“Alright then,” she replied, raising her own hands in a defence position. 

Peter was first to move; he jabbed with his left hand, then his right, which Gamora blocked effortlessly. She grabbed his wrist, gave a small kick to his leg to upset his balance then spun around, pinning his arm behind his back. A second later, Peter jabbed an elbow into her side and managed to break free from her grasp. Gamora smirked – he was finally learning. 

He managed to block her attacks, but he momentarily lost his footing as he stumbled back which she took full advantage of. She went low, striking his abs, causing him to double over, while her free hand wound around his leg and pulled, flipping him on his back in one fluid motion. 

Peter looked dazed, the wind knocked out of him as he lay on the training mat. Gamora knelt beside him, one arm propped on her raised leg. 

“Had enough yet?” she asked teasingly as she tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear. 

He lay still, breathing heavily for a moment. “Nope, still got some fight left in me.”

“Come on, Peter. I can tell that you’re tired, we can -”

Gamora yelped in surprise as Peter’s body suddenly connected with hers, knocking her backwards onto the floor. They were an awkward tangle of limbs for a moment until he managed to plant his hands either side of her shoulders, holding himself upright while he caught his breath.

“Ha! Now I’ve got you!” Peter grinned triumphantly.

“You _tackled_ me. That’s cheating.” Gamora said, frowning slightly. 

Peter arched an eyebrow, that cocky, self-assured smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. “Whatever happened to there are no winners, huh?” 

Okay, technically he had succeeded in knocking her down – once – like he’d so confidently predicted earlier. But the fact that he’d been so sneaky about it made her furious – and she gave in, allowing her competitive nature to get the best of her. 

Instead of answering, Gamora freed her leg from underneath Peter and kneed him in the stomach, knocking him off-balance. She quickly grabbed his left arm as she simultaneously wrapped her legs around his waist, using his arm as leverage to flip him on his back. Peter blinked rapidly as his head hit the training mat, utterly bewildered at how Gamora had managed to move so quickly. 

This time, the smug grin appeared across her face. 

“ _Now_ who’s the winner, Quill?”

She leaned forward slightly as she straddled his hips, using enough force to keep him pinned to the floor, but not so much to hurt him, while her hand around his wrist kept his arm in place above his head. Peter gazed at Gamora in shock, breathing heavily as his eyes darted from her face to her hand and down her body. 

“Y-you… yeah, looks like you win,” Peter stammered, his face suddenly flush. 

“Let’s not make it all about who wins and who loses next time,” Gamora said, releasing her grip on his wrist. 

She now sat upright, waiting for Peter to respond - he’d gone unusually quiet. His eyes glanced quickly around the room, looking at everything except Gamora, while his heart pounded rapidly. She frowned in confusion, considering that maybe he was embarrassed that she’d bested him again, but something told her that wasn’t the case.

“Peter? Is something wrong?”

He swallowed, closing his eyes as he shook his head in response.

“N-nope, I’m good. Just…”

Gamora sighed, maybe Peter was simply being his usual self or maybe she’d been too rough and he’d hurt his head. Or his ego. Regardless, if he was unwilling to communicate, there was no way she would be able to help.

“Peter…”

“I’m fine, honest!” he said quickly, still not fully looking her in the eye. “It’s just… you might wanna, uh… not, sit… there.” 

With a small nod, he gestured towards his lower body where Gamora’s knees still rested either side of him. Her brow remained furrowed in confusion until a split second later when she finally realised - or more specifically, _felt_ \- why Peter was acting so strange. 

“What are you-?” her stomach dropped, a searing heat rising in her cheeks as she suddenly leapt to her feet. “Oh _god!_ ” 

“I-I’m sorry! I swear I didn’t mean to make things weird. I-” Peter stammered, his face scarlet with embarrassment as he sat up, a hand covering his crotch.

Gamora stepped back, jaw slack in complete shock as she glanced nervously around the room trying to find something, anything, to look at instead. She focused her gaze on the ceiling as the familiar urge to run sparked every nerve in her body. She needed to leave - immediately. 

“-couldn’t help it, Gamora. I’m so, so sorry -” Only half the words of Peter’s stuttering apology registered in her brain as she turned on her heel and headed towards the ladder leading to the upper deck. 

“I need to… I should go,” she called out, already half way up the steps. She couldn’t bear to give even the briefest glance over her shoulder; the mental image of Peter being left alone and curled up in embarrassment was enough to fill her with an overwhelming amount of guilt. 

She didn’t stop to notice if any of the other Guardians were nearby, or if they heard the commotion. If anyone _had_ spoken, she ignored them completely. It wasn’t until she was alone in the safety of her sleeping area that Gamora finally let out a shaky breath of relief, resting her back against the cool metal door to steady herself.

Her heart still pounded in her chest, her breathing ragged and throat dry. She pressed a hand to her chest, feeling the sensation of her breath as she inhaled and exhaled, slow and steady, in an attempt to calm herself. The initial shock had slowly begun to ebb away, but Gamora was still rattled. She moved to sit on the edge of the small bed, a little unsteady on her feet - something practically unheard of for a trained assassin. 

After spending a year together, Gamora felt she had started to make real progress in opening up to the Guardians. Drax proved to be a fine sparring partner and Rocket seemed to favour her company when shopping for weapons - even if she did stop him from buying the more deadly ones. She even found herself fiercely protective of Groot and secretly loved when he climbed onto her shoulder to snuggle in her hair. But it was with Peter that she’d made the most strides.

Gamora had accepted his invitation to dance on two other occasions and found that she didn’t completely hate it - though, subconsciously, she knew she’d agreed only to spend some time alone with him. There had been more than one instance where Peter had drank a little too much in some disreputable bar on an equally disreputable planet, leaving Gamora tasked with taking him back to their ship in one piece. Instead of being frustrated, she found herself doting on him, staying awake to make sure he didn’t choke in his sleep or insisting he drink plenty of fluids and take some meds, despite his protests. 

Often, when she couldn’t sleep, she’d think back to the time they’d stayed awake late into the cycle, when Peter drunkenly told her about the mysterious Zardu Hasslefrau. Maybe it was the hope that he wouldn’t remember that prompted Gamora to tell Peter about her upbringing and her adoptive father, but deep down she knew it was because of their shared sense of loneliness. She didn’t even flinch when he clumsily patted her shoulder in a bid to comfort her.

But now, she felt like she’d taken ten giant steps back, that the walls she’d been working so hard to take down were stronger and higher than ever. All because she had definitive proof that Peter was attracted to her. 

\----------------------

A restless sleep wasn’t unusual for Gamora; she was often plagued by nightmares, memories of being taken from her home world, being forced to fight for survival every day of her life, the ominous presence of the Mad Titan that incessantly loomed over her. It was blissful relief when she realised that she’d slept better in the past year than she ever remembered in her whole life – a welcome side effect from finding her new family. 

Now, however, she was greeted by the familiar view of the ceiling, eyes wide, and mind fully alert. Gamora had tossed and turned repeatedly, unable to find a comfortable position to be able to will herself to sleep. She couldn’t tell how late or early in the cycle it was, not that it mattered much at this point. There was only one thing on her mind: 

Peter.

She felt unbelievably foolish for running away, but she was so terrified of acknowledging anything that had happened or what that could mean for the two of them that she really had no other choice. Old habits were hard to break and Gamora had been trained incredibly well. 

Beyond that, the guilt of leaving Peter alone still gnawed at her stomach. Maybe if she’d stayed a second longer she would have found something rational to say, he would’ve made a joke and she would’ve tried not to laugh – then the whole thing would be another silly anecdote that they’d keep strictly between them. Instead, she was here and Peter was… not, and that was slowly driving Gamora insane. 

Sighing in frustration, she ran her hands through her hair before letting her arms flop angrily to her sides. The whole thing was ridiculous; why was she so scared of something that was a perfectly normal, healthy reaction for a Terran male? It wasn’t as if she was expected to act upon things then and there. Although…

_No!_

They hadn’t even addressed the idea of something between the two of them, but… maybe that’s what Peter had wanted - for something more. Not necessarily in that precise moment, but eventually she was sure he’d want things between them to be… intimate. 

Her stomach churned, whether it was through guilt, fear or something else entirely, Gamora couldn’t say. The thought of being intimate with anyone made her uneasy - she used to flinch at the slightest touch – but with Peter, maybe things would be different? 

She closed her eyes and sighed again, her mind still racing, nowhere near being relaxed enough to sleep. Perhaps being with Peter wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Gamora already knew he had feelings for her – that much had been obvious since day one – and she had become comfortable enough to dance with him. So what would be the harm? 

Sure, he was attractive and in great physical shape, there was no denying that. There had been one time where Gamora had walked in while Peter was changing his shirt – the Milano had little in the way of privacy – and she found herself staring longer than she should have. She could vividly remember the slope of his shoulders, the slight curve of his back and the way his muscles shifted as he pulled on a clean shirt – even the glimpse of his abs when he turned around, finally noticing she was in the room. 

Gamora thought about that moment more often than she would ever dare to admit - specifically what Peter’s skin would feel like under her touch. She imagined running her hands over his shoulders and down his arms, wondering if those strange bumps would appear or if his skin truly was as soft as it looked. 

Maybe Peter would do the same to her? Maybe he’d trace the curves of her body with calloused fingers and settle on her waist, pulling her close against him so he could lean in and place soft kisses on her neck. 

As her mind wandered, Gamora finally felt some of the tension melt away, one hand resting on her lower ribs while the other lazily traced circles across her stomach, fingers inching lower, playing with the hem of her sleep shorts. 

She thought back to the way she’d wrapped her legs around Peter’s waist – a move she’d used countless times before, only this time she imagined pulling his body closer, yearning to feel his weight on top of her. In her mind, they’d be wearing far less clothing, an inherent need to feel every inch of the others’ skin. Her hands would reach up to weave through Peter’s hair, before gently guiding his mouth to her neck where he’d nip and kiss, leaving a trail down the front of her throat while his fingertips would graze her inner thigh, inching closer until – 

Pulling her hand out from her shorts, Gamora suddenly sat bolt upright, heart racing. She yanked the covers away and stepped out of her bunk, the coldness of the metal floor against her bare feet snapping her back to reality as she hastily changed into her training clothes. 

Careful not to make any noise, she made her way to their makeshift training area in the cargo bay – she knew from past experience that exercise would allow her to clear her mind, refocus, which was something she desperately needed right now. She pulled the training dummy into the middle of the room; inhaling and exhaling deeply as she rolled her shoulders back, taking a moment to centre herself. Feeling the tension in her body ebb away, she began her practise. 

For each hit that she landed, Gamora imagined the details of her fantasy being pushed further to the back of her mind, in the vain hope that her feelings for Peter could stay hidden from him for as long as she could bear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the most tropey thing I've written to date, sorry not sorry 
> 
> Also, thank you to everyone who's read, left kudos or commented so far! You're all so amazing and wonderful & I really appreciate you taking the time to read/leave feedback <3


	4. Chapter 4

In the aftermath of the sparring incident, Gamora purposely avoided Peter, mostly because she was embarrassed by her own thoughts and partly through fear that somehow Peter would know what she’d almost done, just by looking at her. 

She knew she was being childish, but she was paralysed and uncertain of how to articulate her own feelings. How was she supposed to tell Peter how she felt when, deep down, she still couldn’t admit it to herself? 

…

It all happened so quickly after that. 

…

Less than two weeks later, Gamora, Peter and Drax arrived on Ego’s planet. She had wanted to be supportive, this man was Peter’s father after all, but Gamora couldn’t shake the sense of unease that set her senses on edge as she explored the beautiful, yet desolate planet. Her nerves were rattled even further as she repeatedly tried, and failed, to reach Rocket over the long-distance comm. 

Gamora was sure Peter could tell she had been acting standoffish for days; she’d become more distant, opting to hide in some corner of the ship instead of spending time with the Guardians. Which was why it came as a surprise when Peter approached her on the balcony, his hands lightly brushing against her arms as he ever so briefly nuzzled her hair and gently whispered

“Dance with me.” 

Her entire body tensed, adrenaline spiking and making her heart beat so loudly she was sure even Peter would hear it. She tried to protest, tried to reiterate that being unable to reach Rocket was cause for concern, but Peter tossed the comm onto the gilded sofa and took Gamora’s hands, pulling her into that familiar dancing position. 

She assumed this was his way of finally breaking the tension, to coax her back to some semblance of normality – at least, as normal as a genetically modified assassin and a half celestial could get – by asking her to dance like nothing awkward had ever happened. Gamora stumbled at first, her limbs feeling unusually clumsy as she adjusted her hand on Peter’s shoulder, deliberately avoiding his gaze. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and a shy smile pulled at the corner of her lips, her eyes still downcast, as they swayed to the music playing softly in the background.

Without words, Peter motioned for Gamora to spin, like he taught her so many months ago, and she obliged in one fluid movement – she didn’t trip over her feet this time. When she came back to him, she couldn’t deny the genuine smile that spread across her face, her hand confidently finding its resting place on his shoulder, their bodies ever so slightly closer. 

“Drax thinks you’re not a dancer.”

“If you ever tell anyone about this, I’ll kill you.”

From anyone else, such words would be a hollow threat, and given different circumstances, Gamora would absolutely stick to her promise, but the softness of her voice betrayed her as they continued to sway – feeling completely at ease in Peter’s arms. 

They stayed in comfortable silence, swaying to the gentle melody, as Gamora savoured this moment – the soft smile on Peter’s face, the comforting weight of his hand on her lower back, the slight flutter of her heart as she smiled back and the way he gazed at her with complete adoration. 

“When are we going to do something about this unspoken thing between us?”

The lightness vanished, dropping like lead in the pit of her stomach as her heart began to beat rapidly. Her skin prickled and the all too familiar urge to run overcame her once more, but her feet stayed rooted to the spot, somehow betraying every instinct in her body. 

“What unspoken thing?” 

Peter’s voice seemed far away as he spoke, something about people named Sam and Diane that Gamora couldn’t make sense of and she averted her gaze away from him, clamping down her feelings like she had grown so accustomed to.

“There’s no unspoken thing,” Gamora replied, her tone flat and unimpressed despite her increased heart rate.

“Well, it’s a catch twenty two, because if you _did_ say it then it would be spoken and you’d be a liar. So, by _not_ saying it, you’re telling the truth and admitting that there is.”

Gamora was momentarily stunned, least of all by how matter-of-fact Peter explained things, but the way he’d called her a liar. Despite knowing there was no malice behind his words – Peter had been nothing but kind towards her, even more so in recent months – she was left dumbfounded, she thought she’d been hiding her feelings well, but… 

“No, that’s not what I – ”

Defiant, Gamora pushed back, breaking away from Peter as she quickly changed the subject – something about this planet was off, they hadn’t been able to contact Rocket since they arrived and Mantis… Gamora’s gut instinct told her there was something more sinister at work here.

“Why are you trying to take this away from me?”

“I’m not trying to – ”

They’d had their disagreements in the past; it was inevitable when spending so much time together in close quarters, but never anything like this. The warmth and lightness Gamora had felt mere minutes ago had vanished, leaving a hollow space in her chest, her stomach twisting in an anxious knot as she felt her defensive walls rebuild once more. 

It was foolish to think she could ever let anyone get close, she thought bitterly as they continued to argue, Peter’s raised voice setting her on edge. Of course he’d shouted and argued with Rocket many times, but he’d never expressed anger so clearly towards her and never once had he blamed her for anything – until now.

He was right; Gamora had told him to come here, to give his father a chance, to finally get the answers he’d been searching for but, discovering that Peter was half celestial worried her immensely. If anything went wrong, it would be her fault for pushing him into this. 

“Oh, I get it. You’re jealous because I’m part _god_ and you like when I’m the weak one.” 

His words stung like a blade slicing skin. She knew Terran bodies were more vulnerable or more susceptible to illness than the rest of the Guardians and, true, she was more protective of Peter in the field, but Gamora had never revelled in the fact.

“You were insufferable to begin with,” she regretted her words instantly, but they were past the point of being polite. It was obvious there was so much built-up between them that they were unwilling to address, that the tension had to be relieved somehow. And if that meant making snide remarks about one another: so be it. 

Gamora brushed past Peter as she headed towards the door; face expressionless as she gave up trying to make sense of his talk about Cheers and TV shows. On any other occasion she would be glad to ask him to explain all the strange things from Terra that he loved so much – and Gamora would be happy to listen. But now, every nerve in her body was wound tight, ready to snap. 

“I don’t know what Cheers is!”

“I finally found my family, don’t you understand that?”

Gamora sighed; the sting of betrayal quickly replacing the tension in her body while her voice wavered slightly as she spoke. 

“I thought you already had?”

She lingered in the doorway for a split second; just long enough to see the way Peter’s face fell as he registered her words before she turned on her heel and stormed off, leaving him alone once again. 

 

* * *

  


Despite being outside, Gamora felt claustrophobic, the air thick and heavy around her – though maybe that weight was caused by the lingering guilt she felt from the argument with Peter. 

The lightness and warmth she’d felt while in his arms seemed like a distant dream, slowly fading with each minute, each day they didn’t address what so clearly and desperately needed to be discussed. Gamora knew they could both be too stubborn for their own good sometimes.

If only she hadn’t been held back by her fear of opening up, maybe things would be different. Maybe Peter would have listened to her concerns, or maybe they’d still be out on the balcony, happily twirling and swaying, content in each other’s arms. Maybe she would finally admit the one thing she knew deep down but was so terrified of speaking out loud. 

Maybe… 

Gamora didn’t get chance to finish that thought. Moments later she was focused on the turquoise sky, staring up at a familiar shaped M-ship that hurtled towards her before turning to sprint through clouds of orange dust as a barrage of bullets followed close behind. 

 

* * *

  


Her lungs burned as she tried to catch her breath, throat dry from the sand that swirled in the air around her. Nebula ran alongside her, she knew her sister could outrun her if she wanted to, but Gamora’s bones ached and this was no time for petty sibling rivalry. 

The Quadrant was dead ahead, inching closer with every step until – finally – they reached the safety of the open cargo bay, where Gamora collapsed to her knees beside an unconscious Mantis with Nebula close behind. 

She was all too aware of the seconds that ticked by and just how little time they had left to make their escape, making a feeble attempt to wake Mantis to try and distract herself from the sense of dread that continued to build. Moments later, she heard the sound of an aero-rig over the hum of the engine and looked out to the dusty landscape, hopeful and expectant. 

As Rocket landed safely beside them, Gamora scanned the horizon waiting, no, needing to see Peter emerge from the chasm. But the feeling of dread only intensified with each agonizing second that passed and she was still waiting. 

“Where’s Peter?” her voice was hoarse, throat still dry from the sand and nearly being buried alive under rubble. 

Rocket looked solemnly at the countdown timer in his paw and stayed silent. Instead, he shook his head but refused to look Gamora in the eye. 

Her stomach churned, a lump rising in the back of her throat. 

“Rocket! Look at me! Where is he?!” 

She tried to control the shake in her voice as she yelled, demanding an answer. But she knew – the look on Rocket’s face only confirming the sinking feeling in her gut. Then, Groot pointed a tiny hand in the direction they’d emerged from – the wind had picked up, the thickness of the dust clouds making it near impossible to see. 

There was still no sign of him.

“No… I’m not leaving without him,” she said defiantly, shaking her head as she got unsteadily to her feet, grabbing one of the rifles from the locker. Gamora knew it was reckless and her chances of survival were low - even with all her enhancements – but this was her fault, she’d made Peter come here but she wasn’t ready to leave him to die. 

Not when there was so much she still hadn’t told him. 

Suddenly, she felt a spark rush through every nerve in her body; a buzzing that reverberated in her skull as her limbs seized up and her knees gave out, collapsing to the floor. Rocket’s voice sounded dull and far away as Gamora lay paralysed, fingers twitching as her mods fought against the electrical surge that had been fired through her entire system until, finally, the world was engulfed in darkness. 

 

* * *

  


Gamora woke with a jolt, adrenaline coursing through every nerve, every inch of her body as she scanned her surroundings, breathing hard. She grasped the floor around her searching for the rifle but came up empty. Mantis knelt to her right, hands clasped close to her chest and antennae glowing brightly. 

“What did… what did you do?” Gamora asked breathlessly, realising they were completely alone in the cargo bay.

“Rocket asked me to wake you and to make sure you’re alright,” Mantis relaxed, hands resting in her lap as the glow from her antennae dimmed.

Gamora scrambled unsteadily to her feet, the room spinning and tilting as she tried to regain her balance. Whatever Rocket hit her with was damn powerful.

“Is he here?” she asked groggily, turning slowly, making a bid to head towards the stairs. 

Mantis stood, following Gamora closely to make sure she didn’t fall. “Rocket? He is on the bridge.”

Gamora shook her head, “Peter. Did he make it?”

The silence that followed stopped Gamora in her tracks and a shiver of realisation rippled through her body as her throat tightened. Her eyes began to prickle and a burning hot anger rose in the pit of her stomach – or maybe it was despair. She turned to Mantis who immediately avoided her gaze and that was all the confirmation she needed. 

Gamora rushed up the ladder to the bridge, body fuelled by pure adrenaline. Reaching the top, she stood and scanned the room – Drax and Kraglin stood by the steering console with Nebula off to their right, while Rocket peeked out from behind the pilot’s chair, that same solemn expression on his face as before. Her heart sank, breathing suddenly becoming ragged as she realised with sobering clarity that the one person she _needed_ to be here was missing. 

“Where is he?” she asked to no one in particular, her voice quiet and desperate.

She waited for someone, anyone, to answer but was met with deafening silence. As despair slowly morphed into anger, Gamora crossed the distance over to the console expecting someone to respond, but no one did. She looked at each member of the team – her family – hoping that something in her eyes would prompt them to speak. 

Nothing. 

Even Nebula stood with eyes downcast, arms folded across her chest – not completely unusual for her – but this time there was something different about her sisters’ demeanour. She glanced quickly from the window of the bridge, to Gamora and back again, a subtle way of communicating without words.

Growing increasingly fraught with each passing second, Gamora headed to the vast window and finally noticed what was happening outside. In the middle of the inky black expanse, a fiery glow dissipated, slowly fading into nothing as various pieces of rubble floated weightlessly in the space beyond. 

“What was that?” Gamora asked, turning to face everyone, tears burning in her eyes even though she already knew the answer but desperately hoped she was wrong. “Answer me! What was that?” she snapped furiously when she was met with silence once again. 

“Ego,” Mantis replied, her voice small and distant. 

The air rushed from Gamora’s lungs, her throat constricted as she pressed a hand onto the glass to steady herself, her legs threatening to give out underneath her. She shook her head, muttering words of denial to herself, despite knowing everyone could hear.

“Why didn’t you go back? We still could have…”

She watched as the place where Ego’s planet had been continued to fade further into nothing, just another empty void of space, and the anger burned hot throughout her entire body.

“Why did you stop me?!” she yelled, turning to point at Rocket who still couldn’t look her in the eye. “I could have saved him if you hadn’t stopped me!” 

Gamora knew it was a cruel statement and, truthfully, she doubted that she would have survived, but at least it would have meant she’d _tried_. Tried to save him and finally admitted what she’d been trying to deny for so long.

“We should have gone back,” she stepped closer to the console, her body tense like she was prepared to fight but she also made no attempt to stop the tears that had started to stream from her eyes. 

“ _He_ would have gone back for us and we left him there!” her voice wavered, becoming more unstable with each word as she closed the gap between her and the rest of the team.

“Gamora… we were out of time. There was nothing we could do,” Drax explained, his usual blunt tone absent, but it still didn’t comfort her in any way. 

“YOU shouldn’t have left him!” Gamora sobbed, her anger clearly and unfairly directed towards Rocket. 

“Yeah, well, better one dead friend than two…” Rocket mumbled, quiet enough that only he could hear. However, with Gamora’s enhancements, she picked up every word, igniting a fury so fierce within her that she lunged for Rocket, a scream that was part anger, part hopeless sob escaping her lips.

Suddenly, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her back and preventing her from getting closer to Rocket. Gamora glanced down, barely able to identify the cybernetic arm through the tears that clouded her vision. 

“It’s not the fox’s fault,” Nebula said, holding Gamora tightly as she thrashed hopelessly, trying to get free.

Gamora fell apart; she knew she was being unfair; any one of them would sacrifice themselves if it meant saving everyone else, but the anguish that surged through her body was unlike anything she’d felt before. Her breathing came in ragged uneven gasps and her knees buckled, unable to muster the strength to hold herself up any more. 

She landed clumsily on the floor; Nebula’s arms still around her but her sister’s grip loosened, allowing Gamora to try and break away. True, her arms offered some semblance of comfort, but Nebula wasn’t who she wanted to be with right now. She needed him. But he was gone and it was Gamora’s fault. 

Her body was weak; she didn’t have the energy to struggle much longer as the shallow breaths seemed to drain her completely. Gamora gave up and slumped against the console, eyes wet and tears staining her face as she continued to weep openly and for once, she didn’t care who knew how she felt. 

“I shouldn’t have told him to come here,” Gamora sobbed, her voice sounded small and unfamiliar – she’d never let herself be this vulnerable in front of anyone, but there was no point hiding anymore. 

Peter was gone and there was nothing she could do.

 

* * *

  


Gamora lost track of how long she stayed there, it could have been minutes or hours – it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered now. 

Nebula sat beside her, legs outstretched, arms folded but poised, ready to grab her sister if she made another attempt to attack Rocket but Gamora didn’t have the energy to fight any longer. She barely had the energy to keep herself upright. 

The hollow in her chest seemed to consume every thought, every feeling that Gamora ever had, leaving a never ending void of grief and guilt that she would never be able to escape from. She’d wasted so much time worrying and over analysing the possibilities – instead, the universe had decided for her in the cruellest way.

For the time being, the tears had stopped, leaving her eyes dry and lids heavy as she stared vacantly at the floor. She was vaguely aware of the others muttering behind her – Gamora’s outburst had shocked them, maybe even made them pity her, but no one made an attempt to comfort her. As much as she cared for them, she didn’t want their sympathy right now. 

She tried to visualise him, remember every detail of his face that she’d previously took for granted, the warmth of his body close to hers as they danced, his smile…

Gamora closed her eyes, preventing any fresh tears from spilling over as she struggled to not fall apart all over again. Instead, a strange noise caught her attention – a quiet _blip_ that repeated almost rhythmically every few seconds. 

“What is that?” Drax asked. 

So she wasn’t imagining things, that was a good sign. 

“Sumthin’s out there,” Kraglin replied, pressing various buttons on the console. “Could jus’ be some debris but…” 

Gamora shifted, sitting upright as she hastily rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palm, listening intently to the conversation. 

“Wait…” Kraglin continued as he checked the holo. “It’s pickin’ up a heat signature an’ it’s headin’ this way.”

Drax leaned over Kraglin’s shoulder, squinting intently at the display. “Is it possible that it’s – ” 

“I am Groot?” 

The tiny tree asked what they were all thinking as he used his extended vines to pull himself up onto the console. Deafening silence followed – of course everyone hoped, but they’d also just witnessed Ego implode; there was no way anyone could have survived that. And yet… 

Without a word, Gamora immediately got to her feet, the last sliver of hope forcing her tired limbs to carry her down to the air lock. She was vaguely aware of the voices that called after her, urging her to wait, that maybe someone else should go, but she ignored them. She had to be certain, had to see for herself. 

Reaching the air lock, she peered out into the void, hand pressed against the window as she waited. Her heart pounded in her chest, a sound that echoed in her ears and only seemed to get louder with each agonising second that passed until she saw him.

Peter.

A sob of relief escaped Gamora’s lips, fresh tears welling up in her eyes as her mouth twitched into the slightest smile and she slammed the button to open the outer door. Upon closer inspection, however, she realised he wasn’t alone – Yondu was clutched to his side. It was only then that Kraglin’s words about one heat signature fully registered and her fleeting joy immediately vanished. 

Once they were safely inside the air lock, Gamora swiftly closed the door behind them, pressing various buttons with shaking hands to release the pressure and remove the final barrier between her and Peter. She stepped back as the door hissed open and he collapsed over the threshold, the glowing blue film of his spacesuit slowly fading as he knelt on the floor, chest heaving, his breath coming in choked sobs. 

Instinctively, Gamora carefully moved Yondu’s body away from the door despite the shake in her hands, a lump building in her throat as she felt the freezing layer that had crystallised his skin. She turned to Peter, watching how his shoulders jerked in time with his ragged breathing and knelt in front of him as she tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Peter,” her voice wavered. She was on the verge of falling apart again but Gamora clamped down on her feelings as best she could – it wasn’t about her now. 

When he didn’t respond, she inched ever so closer, careful not to startle him, and gently pressed a hand to his cheek. His head tilted to meet her – his skin warm despite having being out in the coldness of space – and he finally looked into her eyes. Gamora’s heart sank; the pain in his face was too much to bear, his eyes red and watering as the tears spilled over, carving their way down the planes of his face. 

With a gasp, a sob, Peter suddenly wrapped his arms around her, the sounds of his choked crying muffled in her neck. Gamora didn’t hesitate, she wrapped one arm around his back, holding him close, and she brought her other to the back of his head, fingers gently stroking the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

“It’s alright, Peter…” she held him tighter, feeling his desperation as he clung to her. She closed her eyes and focused on the sound of his breath as it slowly evened out, the beat of his heart eventually matching her own. 

“I’m here, I’ve got you,” Gamora said softly, placing a small kiss on the top of Peter’s head and, finally, she knew with absolute conviction what she would tell him when the time was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long! 
> 
> Writing scenes from the film was challenging because I was worried about it being boring, since we all know those parts inside out. But I really wanted to write that missing scene between Gamora getting knocked out & Peter getting back to the ship, so I hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> Thanks again for reading/commenting/leaving kudos! There'll be at least one more update after this <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! I completely rewrote the last half of this chapter and my laptop charger broke, so I couldn't work on it for over a week .__. 
> 
> Either way, thank you for being patient and I hope you enjoy!

“Alright settle down guys, I wanna - Groot! No! Give that back!” Peter snatched his glass away, some of his drink splashing over the side onto his hands and the already sticky table.

Groot scowled, crossing his arms over his chest “I am _Groot_.” 

“I’ve already told you, you’re not old enough. Anyway, like I was gonna say - ”

“D’ya have to, Quill?” Rocket interjected, draining the liquid from his own glass. “I really gotta get back to those fine individuals at that table there. I’m winning by about 10,000 units an’ getting real close to wiping ‘em out completely.”

Drax shook his head, “You are winning because you are cheating Rocket. It is most dishonorable, even for you.” 

“Dude, why don’t you say it louder this time? So they can actually hear you.” Rocket hissed, quickly turning to make sure no one had actually overheard them.

“Oh, my apologies. I SAID –”

Rocket slammed his paws on the unsteady table, making the collection of various glassware gathered in the centre wobble precariously, “I was being sarcastic, jackass!”

“Guys, seriously!” Peter shouted, banging his own fist on the table to get everyone’s attention. 

Rocket rolled his eyes but relaxed back into his seat in the booth as Drax finished his drink - a small ahh of satisfaction escaping his lips. Gamora sat patiently, her own glass clasped in one hand as she gently rolled her wrist, watching as the amber liquid swirled with her movements. To her left, Mantis traced patterns in the crumbs left behind by the various foods the team had been grazing on since they arrived in this particular bar. Gamora wanted to point out that it was probably unhygienic - this wasn’t exactly the cleanest place they’d ever visited - but resisted, reluctant to kill the mood.

Peter sat to her right and cleared his throat, finally able to speak without interruption.

“I just wanted to say congratulations to Mantis on her first job as an official Guardian! I know it’s been a rough few weeks with… everything,” he paused briefly, the memories of Yondu, Ego and everything else hanging heavy in the air. “But! You totally kicked ass today, Mantis and we’re happy to have you on the team.”

He held his half empty glass up, nodding in her direction. “To Mantis!”

A small flush appeared on Mantis’ cheeks, not used to such praise, but her eyes were bright and face beamed as she spoke. “Oh, Peter, thank you! All of you… you’ve made me feel so welcome. I-I never knew what it was like to have a family…” her gaze dropped, a brief flicker of sadness in her eyes. “I hope it’s not too much,” she continued, looking up at the Guardians surrounding her, “but I feel like you’re my family now.”

Drax picked up the second of three drinks sat in front of him, raising it in a similar fashion to Peter. “We are honored to have you and you will make a fine warrior, with more training of course. I’m still concerned –”

“Drax…” Gamora interrupted, throwing a warning glance at the Destroyer sat opposite her. “We’re glad you’re here, Mantis,” she continued, smiling softly. “And… if you do want training, I’d be happy to help.”

Mantis smiled widely, “Yes! I would like that very much Gamora, thank you!”

Rocket cleared his throat, trying his best to sound sincere, “Yeah, happy to have you Mantis…now, if you’ll excuse me, I got some important business to attend to.” He clambered down from his seat and slid out from under the table, “C’mon Groot.”

“I am Groot,” he said cheerily, waving at Mantis as he wandered across the table through the maze of glasses and jumped to the floor, landing beside Rocket. 

Somehow managing to hold two drinks in one hand, Drax began to shuffle sideways out of the booth, “I will join you in case you need back-up.” 

“When have I _ever_ needed back-up from you?” Rocket groaned as he began to make his way some dark corner of the bar.

“There have been many times. Mantis, would you like to join us?” Drax called over his shoulder, “I can teach you how to win at cards without cheating.”

Rocket stopped dead, shoulders tense as he snarled, “Dude, _seriously_!”

“Yes, that sounds like fun!” Mantis replied cheerily, ignoring Rocket’s disgruntled mumbling as she exited the booth. “But… I don’t have any units.”

Drax clasped her shoulder, “Do not worry, there are many things to gamble with. For instance, you have a number of limbs that would make excellent prizes.”

“NO, NO!” Peter spluttered after nearly choking on his drink. “No one’s gambling with actual body parts, you hear me?!”

“Don’t worry, Quill, she will be fine,” Drax called as they followed Rocket, already too far away to hear Peter’s frantic protests.

“She better come back with all her limbs, Drax, I swear to – aaaand they gone…” Peter deflated; slumping back into the booth as he dragged his hands down his face and groaned. “Here’s to another place we’re gonna be barred from.” 

Gamora smirked, bringing her drink to her lips as she spoke, “I’m sure it won’t come to that.”

“Yeah, if we’re lucky and when has luck ever really been on our side?” Peter replied as he stretched an arm out, trying – to no avail – to grab his drink off the table without sitting forward. 

She pondered that thought for a moment, the memories of the past year or so running through her mind. Sure, things hadn’t gone according to plan more times than she could count, but – despite the added stress that caused – they always seemed to work out alright in the end. 

“I can think of a few moments,” she said quietly, gazing into the liquid in her glass. She glanced at Peter from behind a curtain of hair as he shifted forward, leaning in ever so slightly closer to her. 

“Oh yeah? Anything specific you wanna mention?” he asked curiously, his voice low and gentle.

Gamora smirked, a flush of heat creeping in her cheeks as it did so often these days. “Well, I thought one would be fairly obvious…”

“I dunno, the alcohol’s made my brain all fuzzy. You’ll have to refresh my memory,” Peter turned to face her, resting an elbow on the top of the cushioned seat as he tucked his hand behind his head and smiled – that wonderfully charming smile that made Gamora feel warm inside. 

Nevertheless, she rolled her eyes, fully aware that this was all a ploy on his part, but she wasn’t about to complain. “I’d say our meeting was pretty lucky.”

“Oh!” Peter exclaimed, feigning surprise. “You mean where we all tried to kick each others’ asses, got arrested and thrown in prison then were forced to work together to save the universe?” 

Gamora laughed and finished her drink, shaking her head lightly. 

“Definitely the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Peter said, his tone genuine as he reached out to rest hand on her shoulder, squeezing with gentle affection. 

She glanced at where his hand resting, following her gaze up to his face – the tip of his nose and cheeks lightly flushed pink from the alcohol – before shifting closer so that she was tucked under his arm, resting her head gently on his shoulder. 

“I feel the same,” Gamora said softly, definitely noticing the way Peter’s heart rate increased ever so slightly as she leaned in closer, enjoying the warmth radiating from his body. 

She was getting better at talking about her feelings. After finally admitting that there was an unspoken thing – a moment where Gamora felt her heart was going to explode from her chest it was beating so hard – there was no longer any awkwardness between them, no more skirting round the issue, avoiding what was so obvious. In their moments alone, she found herself completely at ease around Peter, never shying away when he touched her shoulder, her arm or even moments in passing where his hand briefly hovered around the small of her back. 

Despite a few weeks passing since Gamora opened up, things hadn’t progressed any further beyond a warm embrace or a chaste kiss on her cheek before they said goodnight and retreated to their separate quarters – causing a lingering doubt in the back of her mind. Doubt that maybe Peter was frustrated things hadn’t gone further, that being with her would be too much work, but his face always lit up when she entered a room and the way he smiled at her made her feel like the most important woman in the universe.

Even now, as the dingy bar hummed with energy of people cheering and laughing, it felt like they were in their own world, that everything around them was simply a distraction, a blur, and they were each other’s centre. 

“Hey,” Peter’s voice bringing her back to reality, “I was talking to the bartender earlier and he says he’s got an old game from Earth out back! Wanna go check it out?”

Gamora peered up at him curiously, “What kind of game?”

“I… don’t actually know,” Peter said, something suddenly dawning on him, “I forgot to ask.”

“Peter…” she replied incredulously, rolling her eyes but an affectionate smile spread across her face all the same as he absentmindedly stroked her arm.

“I know, I know, I just got a little too excited when he told me… So whadya say? Wanna come take a look?”

Gamora sat up, slightly reluctant to detach herself from the comfort of his body, “I’d love to.”

Peter’s face lit up, eyes crinkling as he smiled, “Yes! Awesome! I knew you’d be into it, at least just to humor me and shut me up.” 

“When have I ever done such a thing?” she asked jokingly as she followed him out of the booth, allowing him to lace his fingers with hers as he lead them through the bar. 

“I’m sure you danced with me all those times just to keep me happy,” he replied with a wink that caused her cheeks to flush again. 

“Maybe initially…” Gamora mumbled, unsure whether he heard her over the music and chatter of voices.

It didn’t matter though. As they turned the corner into a slightly better lit corridor near the restrooms, Peter stopped in his tracks causing Gamora to almost bump into him as he stood in stunned silence. 

“Oh. My. _God_!”

Gamora stepped from behind him to get a better look at what was so fascinating. In the corner, a bulky yellow machine stood looking rather out of place amongst the other various tech in the bar – a relatively small black screen stared back, numbers shapes occasionally flashing across it.

“What is… Pac. Man?” 

“Only the greatest game in the entire universe!” Peter exclaimed, snapping out of his trance and rushing over to the machine, suddenly remembering where he was. His hands shook slightly as he touched the joystick like he was afraid it wasn’t real – the look of awe on his face was something Gamora had never seen.

“Peter, are you crying?” she asked, a hand on his shoulder.

“ _No_ ,” he replied defensively, but the tears threatening to spill over said otherwise. “Okay, maybe a little bit. But I’m still a lil’ tipsy and I haven’t seen one of these since I left Earth, so…” 

A small laugh escaped her lips as she came to stand closer, her hand sliding further down his back as she traced the various seams of his jacket. “So, how do you play?”

“Well,” Peter tapped at the holo – clearly a modification – entering an amount of units he deemed appropriate, “You’re Pac-Man, the yellow dot, right? And your goal is to go round the maze and eat all the smaller dots to get the most points but you gotta avoid these ghosts that chase you, otherwise it’s game over.”

“Why would ghosts want to chase a yellow dot?”

“That’s not – it doesn’t need to make sense. It’s fun! See?” 

Skeptical, Gamora watched as Peter controlled the joystick, his eyes unblinking and focused on the yellow dot travelling around the screen. On the surface, she couldn’t pretend to understand why this game was so fascinating, but one look at the sheer joy on Peter’s face told her everything she needed to know.

“Did you play this a lot as a child?” she asked, captivated by the colourful shapes moving quickly across the screen.

“Yeah, my mom used to take me to the arcade on a weekend sometimes so I could play,” Peter continued to move the controls as he spoke, his eyes intently following the bright dot, until suddenly, bright letters saying GAME OVER flashed on the display and he groaned, “Damn, I’m really rusty…” 

“I think you did well, I’m impressed,” Gamora smiled, running her hand down his arm, the leather of his jacket smooth to touch. 

“Pssht, that was just a warm-up,” Peter nonchalantly swatted the air with his hand, “I didn’t even get close to my high score from back in the day!” as he reached down to input more units into the machine, she carefully wrapped a hand around his wrist, turning him so they were face to face.

Gamora’s voice was quiet as she spoke, “I hope it’s not crossing a line but… I’d like to hear more about you and your mother.”

Peter blinked rapidly, taken aback while she waited with bated breath, hoping desperately that she hadn’t upset him. 

“Y-yeah, sure,” he replied, clearing his throat a little. “Y’see, she couldn’t afford to buy me my own game console, but she knew I wanted one so bad. So she took me the arcade instead. Made a real day of it - burgers, fries, ice cream… the whole shebang! It was awesome, just the two of us hanging out. Sometimes we’d even rent a movie too and she’d let me stay up late…” 

He leant against the machine, a wistful look on his face as he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “She still took me when she first got sick. It was hard for her, but she still wanted me to have fun, be a kid, y’know?”

Gamora nodded as she tried to swallow the lump in her throat – part of her regretted broaching the subject, but she also loved hearing stories of his childhood. They helped her see the man behind Star-Lord, behind the bravado – the man who was, in some ways, very much still a big kid, with a generous heart who would do anything for the people he loved. 

“My grandpa took me a few times when mom got too sick,” his voice was suddenly small and vulnerable, threatening to break, “We both knew it wasn’t the same, but he tried. Tried to keep things as normal as he could, but…”

Peter trailed off, his eyes shining with tears. Before they could get the chance to fall, Gamora stepped closer, carefully wrapping her arms around him. She felt him relax as his arm slid around her waist, face turned in towards her neck, inhaling deeply, breathing in her scent. 

They stayed in the comforting embrace until Gamora turned to plant a gentle kiss on Peter’s cheek, the heat in her face rising – she’d never been so bold, but recently she’d slowly become more confident, more sure of herself and what she wanted.

She pulled away, a soft smile on her face as she gazed at him, reaching up to wipe away the tear that had managed to escape. “Can you teach me how to play?”

Peter sniffed, blinking away the excess water in his eyes, “Yeah, sure! I mean, it’s pretty straightforward…”

They shifted so Gamora was facing the console, hand hovering over the joystick as Peter reached down to input more units. He remained close to her side, one arm gently wrapped around her waist, occasionally rubbing small circles with his thumb. 

“You just gotta use the stick to move round the maze and avoid the ghosts,” he instructed as Gamora tentatively pushed the joystick in different directions, trying to move the yellow dot on the screen. 

She found it surprisingly easy to get the hang of – more surprising was how enjoyable it was and she couldn’t help but smile as she watched the shapes moving around the screen. It didn’t matter whether the lightness in her chest was caused by the game itself, or a combination of sharing something that meant a lot to Peter – for the first time since her childhood, Gamora finally felt utterly carefree. 

It seemed as if all the pain and suffering she’d endured throughout her life was leading up to this moment – being in this bar, her family close by, standing beside someone who she cared deeply for, secure in the knowledge that they felt exactly the same about her. Nothing would ever truly erase the horrors of her upbringing – for better or worse, some of those scars were forever a part of her – but right now, this was enough.

“Damn it!” Gamora hissed as the words GAME OVER flashed across the screen, “Guess it’s not as easy as it looks.”

“Nah, you did great!” Peter said enthusiastically, pressing a small kiss to her temple, “Look, you cleared two levels, that’s awesome!”

“Hmm… would you like to try again?”

“Absolutely!” he replied, punching more units into the holo, “We can take it in turns, see who gets the most points.”

Gamora’s back straightened, dropping her shoulders as her competitive streak starting to get fired up, “So… it’s a competition now?”

Peter smirked, he knew full well that she couldn’t say no to any kind of contest – especially if it was a test of skill, “Only if you want it to be.”

She arched an eyebrow, “Give it your best shot, Star-Lord.”

* * *

They stayed there for what felt like hours, alternating turns and trying petty distraction tactics whenever one passed the others previous high score – but Gamora was a master of focus. Mostly. She only faltered when Peter sidled up behind her, fingers lightly brushing at her sides until he finally made her squirm, breaking her concentration and the GAME OVER screen appeared once more. 

She spun around and swatted at his shoulder, pouting, “That wasn’t _fair_.”

A devilish grin played on Peter’s face as he stepped ever so slightly closer, his hands slipping around her waist as he shrugged, “Maybe, but when have you ever known me to play fair?”

“Well… one occasion definitely _springs_ to mind,” she replied, unable to help the laugh that escaped her lips.

His jaw dropped, eyebrows raised in disbelief – neither of them had addressed that… incident since it happened. “Yeah, well, you’re the one who got me all worked up in the first place,” Peter replied, mouth twitching into a smirk. 

Leaning back against the console, Gamora ran her hands up his arms and along his broad shoulders, resisting the urge to slide them under his jacket. She was acutely aware that this was the longest they’d been so close since admitting there was something between them – her body was giving all the usual telltale signs of nerves, but it was different this time. 

“And what about now?” she asked breathlessly, draping her arms around his neck, their bodies drawing closer. 

Peter swallowed, “I, uh… yeah, something’s definitely working…”

The world around them seemed to slow, gradually fading further away, the dull, distant chatter and clinking of glasses overwhelmed by the thrumming of Gamora’s heart that echoed in her ears. She swore she could hear Peter’s equally erratic heartbeat too as she chewed on her bottom lip, weighing her options. 

If they’d been in this position mere weeks ago, Gamora definitely would have run. That instinct still lingered, however, creeping up her spine as her body trembled with uncertainty. Being this close, all she would have to do was inch forward and their lips would touch, something she now realised she desperately wanted – craved, even – but something was still holding her back. 

“Peter, I…” the words seemed to get lost in her throat and she swallowed, trying to will them into existence. “Can we go somewhere to talk?” 

“Is there something wrong?” he replied without hesitation, pulling back slightly as he searched her face for signs of discomfort. 

“No, nothing’s wrong per se,” she explained, shaking her head lightly. “There’s just some… things I want to say and I’d rather say them in private,” 

Gamora gestured to the small group of aliens that were gathered at the other end of the corridor, completely oblivious to their presence as the group laughed and talked enthusiastically. 

“Sure, you wanna head back to the ship?” Peter asked warmly.

“Actually, some fresh air sounds nice.”

“Yeah, it does,” he replied, smiling brightly as he removed his hands from Gamora’s waist, linking their fingers together as they headed towards the exit. “Though I’m not exactly sure _how_ fresh the air is on this planet.”

Rolling her eyes, Gamora laughed softly as she followed his lead until they emerged onto a spacious terrace area behind the bar. The area seemed completely at odds with the dingy interior behind them – glittering slabs of onyx covered the floor, giving the illusion that they were travelling across an inky black sea. Large plants grew in various corners, vines twisting upwards, making intricate patterns, as bright orange and red flowers bloomed at the top giving the illusion of flames flickering as they swayed in the gentle breeze. 

They settled on a bench tucked away in the corner furthest from the exit for added privacy, despite being the only people outside. Gamora sighed, relaxing as she stared out at the sprawling cityscape, tiny lights blinking as various ships weaved through the tall buildings. 

Peter rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb, voice gentle as he spoke, “So, what did you wanna talk about?”

She took a moment to steady herself before speaking, “I-I know it’s been a little while since I told you how I feel, but…” she dropped her gaze, lips pressed into a hard line, “I’m scared.”

The hitch in Peter’s breath was noticeable, “O-kay… A-are you scared of us? Of… me?”

“No. Never,” Gamora replied firmly, turning to face him. “What scares me is this – opening up, allowing myself to be vulnerable. All my life I was taught to never let my guard down, to never let anyone in… that way no one could ever get close enough to hurt me.”

Her vision was suddenly clouded with tears as her lip trembled, overwhelmed with emotion. She half expected Peter to pull away, release his hold on her hand and leave her alone in the night; instead he reached up to gently cup her face, catching a few stray tears as they spilled over.

“Letting people in isn’t a bad thing. I mean, look – you opened up to us bunch o’ losers and guess what? We’re like a real dysfunctional family now! Sure, we love each other but god _damn_ do we drive each other nuts sometimes.”

Gamora laughed weakly as she glanced up at him – a layer of concern spread across his face, but that charming smile played on his lips, his eyes bright and affectionate. She sighed deeply, closing her eyes as she carefully tucked her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. 

Her heart pounded in her chest, too many thoughts swam round in her head as she tried to hold back more tears that were dangerously close to escaping.

“I’m scared that I won’t be enough,” the words stuck in her throat as she spoke, her voice sounding far away like it belonged to someone else.

Peter wrapped his arms around her, holding tight, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “Why wouldn’t you be enough?” 

“Because I don’t know how to handle this… these feelings,” Gamora choked, tears flowing freely now, “I don’t know how to be me and be with you romantically, after everything I’ve done. I-I’m scared you’ll get tired of waiting for me to figure things out...”

“Hey, listen to me –” Peter adjusted their bodies so they were facing each other, his hands gently holding her face, thumbs wiping away her tears, “First of all, no one really knows how to handle these things. I mean, I was totally into you from day one –”

Gamora scoffed, a humorless laugh. 

“No, seriously! But… after everything on Xandar I assumed you weren’t interested, so I had to deal with that in my own way.” 

“By shamelessly flirting and asking me to dance?” the smallest ghost of a smile tugged at Gamora’s lips – the tears had slowed, for now, but her breath still felt uneven.

“Hey, it worked didn’t it?” Peter laughed, “But seriously, even if you weren’t interested, I would have been alright – you’re my best friend and nothing could change that.” 

Gamora smiled weakly, not because she thought he was being insincere – far from it – but because she didn’t realise how emotionally draining baring her soul seemed to be.

“And another thing,” Peter continued, his voice dropping to almost a whisper, “This thing we got? I’m not going anywhere; I’ll be here for as long as you need to be ready – not ‘cause I’m obligated or ‘cause I expect something. But because I want to be with you, in every sense of the word – and that includes the all the non-romantic stuff. Everything else… we can figure that out when you’re ready.”

Her face had become wet again, she pressed her lips into a line, trying to remain composed, but with every word he spoke, Gamora felt herself unraveling. The walls she’d built so meticulously all those years ago were now tumbling down around her, leaving her exposed – emotions laid bare – and finally ready to let him in. 

“When we’re both ready,” she replied as Peter held her face, rhythmically stroking her cheeks, wiping them dry. 

He smiled brightly – warm and safe – as he pulled her close, enveloping her in his arms. Gamora sighed, settling into him, her face buried in his neck as she slipped her hands around his torso, holding tight. 

She would have been content to stay in this spot for the rest of the night – or eternity – listening to the steady beat of their hearts as Peter absentmindedly traced circles on her back. Part of her wondered why she ever felt so nervous about discussing these things in the first place; after all, Peter was one of the most kind and understanding people in the universe – of course he would be patient with her.

They stayed silent for a while, holding each other, listening to the ambient hum of ships cruising overhead and the bass from the music playing inside the bar. 

“Peter?” Gamora asked softly, a wild idea suddenly buzzing in her head.

“Mm?”

“Do you have your Zune with you?” she asked, still nuzzled in his neck, reluctant to move just yet.

He patted his hip; feeling for the device clipped to his belt as if he didn’t already know it was there. The clip attachment was a modification Peter made himself, insisting that he felt naked without something in the space where his beloved Walkman used to sit. “Yeah, I got it. You wanna listen to something?”

Gamora peeled away from him before standing up, carefully taking hold of Peter’s hands and guiding him up off the bench, his face briefly twisting in confusion as she lead them into the open space of the terrace. Wordlessly, she unhooked the device from Peter’s belt; carefully unraveling the wire wrapped around it. 

“’Mora, what are you – ” his breath caught in his throat as he finally figured out her plan. “Oh my god, are you asking me to dance?”

That familiar warm flush crept across her cheeks again as she tried to remain composed, gaze downcast, focusing on the wire despite the obvious smile on her face.

“You’re _totally_ asking me to dance!” he said gleefully, practically bouncing on the spot with excitement. 

Gamora rolled her eyes; lashes still damp from crying, and held out one of the earbuds, placing the other in her ear. “Yes, Peter, I am.”

The grin that spread across his face was utterly irresistible, making her heart swell. She took half a step closer, holding out the small music player – she needed assistance with this particular part. 

“I was thinking… maybe that song you played for me on Knowhere?” her tone was slightly uncertain, she was familiar with a lot of the music Peter constantly played on their travels, but – through no one else’s fault but her own – she’d never taken the time to memorise the names. She made a silent vow to change that. 

“Oh! Yeah, sure,” Peter fumbled a little as he took the Zune from her hand, pressing a number of buttons until the first few notes of the song began to play. 

He tucked the device safely away, leaving both of his hands free to slip gently around Gamora’s waist as she draped her arms around his neck once more. Slowly, they began to sway; neither of them really wanting to move too much, as if some cosmic force was holding them close to one another. 

It felt like they were in one of those movies or TV shows Peter liked to talk about so much; just the two of them, under the stars, sharing something that was completely theirs. Gamora glanced up, taking in how handsome he looked bathed in the soft glow of the lights from the streets below. 

As he gazed back, her heart skipped. Maybe it was allowing herself to be vulnerable combined with this particular song that made her feel close to unraveling again but, more than likely, it was the way Peter looked at her like she was the most important person in the entire universe. 

“You alright?” he asked gently, noticing the way her eyes shone with tears again. 

Gamora blinked the excess water away, “I’m fine. It’s just… this is nice.”

“Hell yeah, it is,” Peter smiled, gently pulling her closer. “Although… this does feel pretty familiar, don’t you think?” 

She tucked her chin slightly, eyes downcast as a shy smile played on her lips, trying – but failing – to resist his charming smirk. “The thought did occur to me.”

“Promise me you won’t pull a knife on me this time,” Peter said as the song slowly faded to its end. 

Gamora laughed, “Well, that depends.”

“On what?”

She considered her answer for a brief moment as the music began playing again. “On if you keep your hands to yourself, Quill.”

Peter arched an eyebrow, a devilish grin on his face, “Oh, is that a challenge?” 

Gamora’s heart skipped again, the low tone of his voice stirring something in the pit of her stomach as she tried to remain composed. 

“Absolutely,” she replied breathlessly, wondering exactly how or when their faces became so close. 

Suddenly overwhelmed with desire, she allowed herself to embrace it instead of trying to stamp the fire out like she had so many times before. There was no reason to be scared any longer – she had told Peter some of her worst fears and he hadn’t hurt or rejected her. He’d promised to stick by her and that was all Gamora could ever have hoped for. 

Before either of them could speak again, Gamora took a breath to steady herself and she closed the gap, their lips finally connecting. 

Relief washed over her as she melted into Peter, his lips soft and warm against hers. They moved slowly, with slight trepidation at first as Gamora’s pulse raced – it felt like too much and not enough all at once. Her hands came to cup his face, fingers brushing against the rough stubble on his jaw before creeping up further to tangle in his hair.

A low hum of appreciation reverberated in the back of Peter’s throat causing Gamora to squirm, her heightened senses more alive than she’d ever known. As their lips remained connected, his hands gripped her tightly, sliding under her jacket and up her back, pressing their bodies closer together. 

Gamora almost whined when Peter broke away.

“God, G‘mora I…” his face was flush as he tried to steady his heavy breathing. “You’ve no idea how much I’ve wanted to do that. Or for how long.”

With a slightly unsteady hand, he reached out to gently caress her face, her skin tingling as his calloused fingers traced along her jaw. She smiled and tilted her head into his touch, bringing her own hand up to rest on top of his as his thumb rhythmically stroked the soft spot behind her ear.

“Oh, I think I have a pretty good idea.”

For a split second, Peter looked bemused, like he somehow couldn’t believe Gamora had known about his very obvious feelings towards her. Then, he broke into laughter – and she along with him – easing the tension as he leaned in to kiss her again, planting kisses along her jaw, on the corners of her lips before sinking into them fully.

As they broke away again, Gamora brought her hands to rest on his shoulders, her heart full as she gazed at him – a lightness she’d never felt before. 

“I think the others may be wondering where we’ve disappeared to,” Gamora said, tracing the seams of his jacket again.

“Yeah…” Peter replied wistfully as he loosely twirled her hair around his finger, “Or maybe they’ve been causing too much havoc to notice we’re not there?”

Gamora shook her head lightly, “Peter…”

“I know, I know. We probably should go make sure Drax hasn’t lost all of Mantis’ limbs in a bet,” he sighed, expression like that of a sulking child. 

“It’s the wise thing to do,” she said, carefully removing the wires from their ears that had been playing on repeat this whole time. She was reluctant to end this wonderful moment as much as Peter, but Gamora knew they had to come back to reality, at least for a short while. 

Peter shrugged as he wound the wires around his Zune, clipping it back onto his belt, “Yeah, it’s just… we’re getting really good at kissing and I thought we could, y'know, keep doing that for a while.”

Gamora rolled her eyes, an affectionate smile on her face as she laced their hands together, “There’ll be plenty more time for kissing, Peter.”

He beamed, a dazzling smile that made her feel like she was bathed in the warm glow of the sun, and captured her lips once more. All coherent thought seemed to slip from her mind, only able to focus on the sensation of their mouths. 

She abruptly pulled away, breathless, “Though I suppose they can manage without us a little while longer.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Peter nodded before closing the gap between them. 

As Gamora threaded her fingers through his curls, she sighed into the kiss, feeling utterly content – safe in the knowledge that whatever the future held for her and Peter, she no longer had reason to fear it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's read, commented or left kudos on this fic - I truly appreciate every one of you! <3
> 
> Hopefully this won't be my last Starmora fic, but in the meantime feel free to follow me on [tumblr](http://flagsmoone.tumblr.com) or [twitter](http://twitter.com/ghoulszler)


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